As some of you may know, and others may not…

I’m going to transition. It’s something I’ve been dealing with for years. No, I haven’t always known. It’s so much more complicated than I’ve known I’ve wanted to be a boy because I always preferred to play the role of the brother when my sister and I played house. Just because I did, doesn’t mean it was a sign. It’s been a struggle. I’ve tried to avoid it for many years because it was just easier to be a female who liked women, or I tried to make myself feel differently by dressing feminine, because again, it was just easier. It’s been mentally and physically exhausting and damaging to myself. I just can’t continue to be a female, because it’s the easy way out. I can’t imagine going through another nine years of lying to myself, and to others, or trying to make myself fit in something that I just don’t fit in.

It’s going to be a process and a challenge. But more importantly, a reward. I’m going to be happy. I’m already happy, having had admitted to it, and telling friends and family. Being referred to with male pronouns, and getting amazing support and acceptance so far. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to have in my life. They are by far the most diverse, and beautiful bunch. I’m truly lucky to have them in my life, and I can only hope they feel just as fortunate to have me in theirs, because I will always do my best to give them every ounce of effort to maintain our friendship.

Emily-Justine will always be a huge part of me, 22 years I’ve lived as her, and with her. I’ve made wonderful friends, and have had amazing relationships with her. She will always be a memory with me, and with those who have been acquainted with her. However Emmitt is who I am, and though exactly like Emily in heart… I have a healthier mind, and feel more comfortable in presenting myself. I know I have a long way to go, before I can legally change my name (to Emmitt Justin) and get top surgery, and I have to get health insurance again, and begin to take hormones, I have so much I can do in the meantime.

So I understand that saying she/her and using Emily/Justine will slip up. I will not get angry, it’s a force of habit. I just ask that everyone would make a serious effort into using my name, and male pronouns from here on out. I sincerely appreciate, and I don’t know how to describe just yet, how incredibly happy I feel every time I hear Emmitt, or him/his.

P.s. new tumblr, coming soon.